Random & Horrible Spontaneous thoughts

2022.01.18 14:14 throwaway_no0 Random & Horrible Spontaneous thoughts

Should I go to a psychiatrist? Do I likely have an underlying mental health condition or do I just need better mental control?
Yes, this is a throwaway account, no this isn't a troll post or anything, I just really want genuine answers. I have all of the symptoms of ADHD; but this feels like a different thing.
Note from after writing this. Being a throwaway, this is pretty much just a dump of what I've thought to write down, it's definitely unorganized, and some parts may be too honest.
I'm currently 16 and I get random, very intrusive thoughts of things that I really don't want to do, that have no logical sense. I've had these most of my life.
These have no anger accompanying them, even for the bad ones. They feel more like an urge of nature or something like that.
Aside from the usual being bothered when things aren't symmetrical, a strong urge to disinfect or fear of bacteria, the thoughts are often urges from either breaking things in a non-angry way, if that makes sense; to the more common ones, urges to subject or put myself in danger or pain, sometimes others, which is what I hate the most.
The putting others in danger are 'easy to diffuse,' because I start feeling bad immediately after the thought itself, and it makes un-focusing on the thought a lot easier.
I have only had cases where I attempted the urges twice, and I now can control them 99% of the time, that doesn't mean that I don't have difficulty doing so. They're very annoying, distracting, and entrancing. My head is always noisy, so music really helps me.
Examples of the 'dangerous' urges are; - wanting to touch the metal prongs of electronics while plugging them in, or even just seeing them plugged in - wanting to cut off one of my fingers (or... that) when holding scissors - wanting to stab myself in the gut when holding a knife or a fork (I have learned knife tricks as a way to distract myself, and these rarely happen anymore, the urges go to wanting to do said knife tricks instead.) - the most apparent one, wanting to jump off tall heights this one is a bit bizarre, because it has a massive trigger: railings in malls. when I look at railings in malls, they just pop up all over the place. this is probably the most annoying out of all of them. both of my attempts are this exact one, one was at the mall, and the other was at a cliff during a hiking trip.
Other information:
- I had a serious bout of being suicidal back around 13~14 years of age. I am now happy and have had a massive change in my perspective of life, so this shouldn't be an issue.
I have not gone to a psychiatrist due to: 1. My sister has downsyndrome and is autistic. My parents have had a deep rooted fear of me turning out the same, and they don't believe that people can be depressed, which is why I have not opened up to them. They have enough problems. 2. I'll be honest, the complete hassle of finding one near me, learning how to commute; and the price. I've had some money saved up from last christmas that I can use if I get an overwhelming response to do so, but this'll take away all of that, and as a youngling from a 3rd world country, it'll probably take until next christmas until I can get money again.
If I'm asking this question at the wrong place (arguable that I'm even posting it in reddit I guess), and you have an alternative, please point me towards them so I can ask this there.
Thank you so much to everyone that'll answer. Extremely sorry if this post is over the top or written stupidly.
God bless this milk carton if this is just normal during puberty and I won't have to live with this through the rest of my life.
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2022.01.18 14:14 Noxronin This made me laugh

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2022.01.18 14:14 aseaweedgirl [theory] 1:1 model of sargassum clay plaster over seagrass + chicken wire. On the opposite side: the same plaster applied on fermacell board. For my thesis on seaweed architecture.

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2022.01.18 14:14 Original-Sorbet One for Mike to "enjoy"...

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2022.01.18 14:14 RocketshipGrease Pizza Time!

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2022.01.18 14:14 themanoftan The Meow Mix Themesong on a Cat Piano

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2022.01.18 14:14 Western_Box5547 The Future is Unwritten

Nobody knows what is going to happen tomorrow or 5 years from now. Just relax and enjoy the ride. I’ve lost a few grand so far but I believe in this project so I’m going to just keep chillin. Maybe I lose it all, maybe I break even, maybe I become a shib-millionaire. Maybe maybe maybe...
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2022.01.18 14:14 alya_uwu Eggman hot

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2022.01.18 14:14 feathertwin88 LF: togetic or togekiss with double edge

i really want to get a double edge starly. i’ll trade the mon back after i pass on the egg move
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2022.01.18 14:14 WickedSkeleton Find out the best way to support cannabis on the Instagram Platform.

Instagram platform has recently moved away from supporting cannabis. From banning pages to removing hashtags like #cbd and #cannabis could it possibly mean any otherwise! A recent scientific study found out that cannabis may prevent Covid virus from entering into the cell. The point is cannabis is important... without proper support to the #cannafam how would there be a better community?
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2022.01.18 14:14 Cadelinha_do_Hoseok_ I'm Beggin • J-hope Version

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2022.01.18 14:14 Donfatty Czardine

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2022.01.18 14:14 Beccaann14 I would like to revise my opinion on the worst character of the show.

I am almost done with season four and up to this point I had a very strong opinion that Jessica was the worst character but I would like to revise that and say it’s really Evan that kid is a brat. He needs a serious attitude adjustment. And honestly I blame Jessica for him being the way he is maybe they’re tied for who I can’t stand the most in this show.
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2022.01.18 14:14 Unlikely-Country-862 Help finding ebook Philosophy with annotation support

Hi, I am a student with a philosophy major (pre law) and was wondering if anyone had a good way to legally acquire digital copies of philosophy texts/books/textbooks that support inking so that I can annotate in the margins?

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2022.01.18 14:14 CaratsRitzy Inconsistent internet for video call/streaming video in Kalamunda?

Sorry for the long post, but this has been bugging me for a while. I moved to Perth from Sydney to study in 2020 and I'm not very familiar with area.
I want to know if this is a structural issue or a tech issue from Telstra.
I'm no stranger to 45min cooking session while waiting for IT to contact engineering.
I had to deal with stuff like burnt copper wire connection when on-site support crossed our wires, broken line from roadwork and the tech support forgetting to turn our connection on.
Anyways, here's the context:
I was trying to organise a video call/game night with some interstate friends during NYE while I was staying with a friend in the hills.
The internet struggled to have very inconsistent ping during both Discord and online game session. Loading YouTube had some occasional stuttering, loading Twitch had frequent stutter on 1080p.
They are with Telstra on NBN for work for years, but said there's always been an video call/stream issue for the hills area.
(Ping test averaged between 10ms with 45mb Upload/15mb Download. But struggled in the 500-1.5k ms when I ran a video test with the Oslo speedtest.)
I just want my friend to have the premium service they paid for and enjoy some high quality streaming/gaming nights. :(
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2022.01.18 14:14 milkytea2sugars 3 Weeks in a row!! Argghhhhhh

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2022.01.18 14:14 Swein_Forkbeard Advice needed

Hi all,
I'm thinking of buying a piece of rack-equipped furniture for my mixing desk and future patchbays etc. This had caught my eye: https://www.thomann.de/nl/on_stage_wsr7500rb.htm
Problem is, I only see rack mounts on the front of this. Similarly with other cabinets/desks in this price range. Now, this isn't a problem for patchbays and such, but I'd kind of hoped to install rack drawers (for effects pedals etc) which all seem to (reasonably) want front+back attachment.
What would you do in such a situation? Get a kit like below and screw that into the cabinet or look for an alternative piece of furniture altogether? https://www.thomann.de/nl/studio_desk_pro_line_20u_rack_space_upg.htm
Thanks in advance!
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2022.01.18 14:14 Evening_Ad_183 Acham que a Microsoft pagou $ 70 bilhões e não vão tornar COD exclusivo do gamepass. Enfim o estágio da negação.

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2022.01.18 14:14 CaptainGibb Walker: Official Announcement Discussion

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2022.01.18 14:14 missingleaf50 Where is it?

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2022.01.18 14:14 rycoopers Smoking Advice Please

I started in high school like early grade ten. I quit for two years after high school. Im (m)20years old. Started smoking again due to anxiety and a variety of reasons. It of course helps in the short term but long lasting life altering negative effects make me question my choices. I’m aware of the repercussions. Yet, I’m at a point now where it’s do I sacrifice my physical health for my mental health?
Right now I’m leaning towards continue smoking for the mental benefits and for the sacrifice of my physical health.
I recently started back up again after bad anxiety attacks before starting these next uni courses. A decision I have yet to regret entirely. Please see my way of thinking below
Please and I in no way want any of you to start smoking again it’s just my experience. Im just looking for some advice, please enlighten me. (I think it’s amazing Reddit has a place where I can speak with so many inspiring individuals who actively seek improvement in their lives. I commend you all and know first hand change doesn’t come easy).
Soooo, Let’s start with the pros as to give you an in depth understanding of how I’m thinking.
Pros (why i want to continue smoking) 1. It Fixed my anxiety and mentality. Idk it’s like a switch in my brain I’m more relaxed, able to fix problems better, more oriented and organized. Not to mention just the social presence that’s created mentally, its an astounding improvement. I listen more, can speak better and more clear, mentally everything’s not so foggy, it’s like I’m a new man. From confidence, to handling every situation. 2. This fixed my IBS. If smoking means I’m not spending every day several times on the toilet than that’s a major help. Probiotics are awesome too but it’s not completely fixed unless I smoke. 3. I physically and mentally love smoking. I’m sure we all can relate 😒. Of course dopamine and the stimulant effect as well as depressive but, also like the attitude around it. When I stopped smoking I was half the man I am when I do. 4. It helps me with my vocals for music. It’s like I have MY voice back. After two years of working with my “regular voice” it was sub par maybe standard in its capabilities. But after smoking I get my vocal cords warmed up and air pushed out extremely better. My tone, pitch, and range is improved in ways my training couldn’t do not smoking. (I sometimes think this is god telling me to smoke). 5. I’m able to express myself better. With smoking I’m more mentally in tune with my emotions and my capabilities to do so and express them is drastically improved. 6. With my ability to withhold from smoking I use it as a tool to benefit my surroundings I.e. clean up, study, work on bettering my life, stop drinking and weed (I said pick one cause you’re not doing the others), after a good deed, long day etc… 7. It gets me up in the morning. Swear to god I’m a zombie those two years I quit constant brain fog. No motivation or energy to get up and do something ffs. 8. It helps me Reframe my mindset. Take a step back. Reflect. Re-approach. 9. My vent. Before I began smoking again I tried everything. Meditation, eating healthier, cooking, socialize, calling people, games, trying new foods, planting, propagation, learning a new skill, breathing techniques, mental health techniques, new medications, exploring, and every physical activity thing except rock climbing. Plus covid I can’t join a rec league or nothing nor can I afford it as it’s just myself out here in the hood. This isnt something I pick up for one day neither. This was constant routine, scheduling, really putting in the effort. When I couldn’t do arms, meditate, do yoga, or anything else physically I started forest gumping. Pick a direction and just walk. I walk on average 10km. To the point where I damaged my hip flexor walking 20km. Only then when all other options were tried and pushed to their limits I began smoking again. 10. I like the person who I am better when I smoke. Confidence issue doesn’t help.
Cons (why I should stop) 1. Bad oral health. My teeth are turning more yellow. Gum disease. Bad breathe and dry mouth. Throat cancer. I’m young I care about my appearance and understand the great deal to exercise good hygienic health. 2. Damage to the lungs. I’m already asthmatic and I hate how it effects my ability to perform cardio. Coughing up phlegm. Dry coughing more and more. Inability to breathe. Shortness of breathe. 3. Money. That shit adds up in Canada I pay $21 for a pack of 25cigs. I’m already strapped for cash as it is. 4. Risk for disease majorly increases. I’m young, but I know I will eventually regret continuing to smoke. 5. Anxiety increases between my smoking breaks (I withhold from smoking) yet still better then when I wasn’t smoking at all. Yet to play devils advocate, it’s a slippery slope I’m well aware of and I can easily get to a point where I’m smoking a pack a day. 6. Bad circulation. It’s cold af in the winter I could use the vasodilation. Plus I gotta go outside to smoke so that doesn’t help. 7. Overall worse physical health. There’s no bs smoking is obviously bad for my physical health. The symptoms are already getting apparent and I take great pride in my physical activity and capabilities I would hate to hinder that. 8. It’s becoming more and more unattractive and you smell bad to most. With todays youth smelling like cotton candy or a vape is more apparent. I won’t vape as it negatively impacts my voice and I did it in high school not the same hit, plus way way way to easy to get carried away I can do it anywhere.
This is where I stand, at a crossroads. This is of course a place where people stop and I may do that. But I’m very curious on if I’m missing a lot of my cons? Or what has been your experience? Have you gave it up completely? What were those reasons? Perhaps in this specific situation it is best that I continue? Maybe you got some tips? Perhaps even fixes to my pros? Why should I quit? Do you think I could just continue now until after I get the hard shit sorted like school? And of course… would you sacrifice your physical health for your mental health?
I’m eager for your responses and deeply appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read this. Thank you.
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2022.01.18 14:14 Oxus007 Really pleased with how my Wurr Boy is turning out

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2022.01.18 14:14 Schrubii my first attempt at pixel art, what do you guys think?

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2022.01.18 14:14 Papera09 oh my

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2022.01.18 14:14 floki567 TMJ and Tinnitus.

I got my TMJ after tooth extraction and wearing braces for 2-3 years. I experience jaw clicking and sometimes I used to click it for a satisfying feel. So, after 5 years with TMJ, last month, i was eating a big burger and when i took bite with big mouth, my TMJ clicked, i felt my jaw dislocate and came back.
Since that that i am having constant beep sound. My ear audible tests are all fine. ENTs said your ears are all good. So i visited a Dental Surgeon, he told me there is a minor fracture, tinnitus should go away in few months, it is due to inflammation.
Anyone else experienced this? Please share your story, and did the tinnitus went away? and what precautions and procedures you used to heal. I was also thinking of seeing a chiropractor.
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